Friday, October 03, 2008

Veep debate lists and tallies

Like my liveblogging of the RNC speech, this post should not be considered serious commentary on the candidates or their respective policies. It will be sarcastic, disrespectful, probably snide. I'm not trying to be fair; I'm trying to express some incredulity and outrage on this, my personal blog, which functions as a useful outlet for, well, incredulity and outrage. My "partisan" Obama leanings will be evident because I ate the arugula a long time ago...and, since having turned into one by virtue of my East Coast over-education, I just kinda like pointy-headed elitists. So there's the disclaimer: read this as an attempt at comedy, the kind of "laugh so you don't weep" kind, and don't get your panties all in a wad, or your knickers all in a twist (if you happen to be from NZ). And finally, please consider these lists and tallies as works in progress, and feel free to contribute.


1 blown kiss
2 winks
no observable hip waggles (podium in the way)
4 come-hither eyes, then I stopped counting
1 sexy grin (at least)

nuke-you-ler: at least 6 times.

Folksy Talkin' List

can I call ya Joe [six pack not included]?
darn right
Joe Six Pack hearts Hockey Mom (I know that's not verbatim)
darn right
"the tax thing"
bless their hearts*
Main Streeter like me
drill baby drill
Man (come on people: can't we all just admit not all of humanity is male, or is that too much to ask, really? and for the record, Biden followed suit on that question, using the term "manmade". Argh, argh, argh. Though I would enjoy pinning the cause of global warming on solely the male half of humanity, I don't think that would really be scientifically accurate.)
say it ain't so Joe
doggone it

Notable Phrases and Unbelievable Comments

"No, it isn't [correct] but I'm still on the 'tax thing'..."
apparently she can use the word "raping" casually (Anna's observation)
John McCain knows how to win a war (an inside job on Vietnam?)
"the middle class where Todd and I have been all our lives"--um...yeah, I know tons of people who live in governor's mansions. (Actually, I do kind of know someone who used to, now that I think about it...)
can't allow other countries to pollute "more than America will stand for"--wow, well, the whole planet just got dropped in the trash bin, or doesn't she know that America is the world's #1 polluter?
"Talibannie" (the diminutive form of Taliban, apparently. perhaps technically only refers to the young'uns, or maybe just the hotties. Some women just have a thing for beards, after all...)
and my favorite: "where I would lead...with his agenda."

Most Often Heard Outburst from Middle Class Living Room TV Audience

how many get out of jail free cards does she get to play? can't there be a limit to how many times she can redirect a question on anything she doesn't like to energy policy? Gwen Ifill, I demand that you do something about this! Why aren't you doing something??? Oh...I get it...unlimited get-out-of-jail-free was a precondition of the debate, wasn't it...:(


Unknown said...

I'm sure I counted more winks.

Unknown said...

Her side of the commentary reminded me of the "HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead" commercial annoyingly repeating the same talking points. But if non-thinkers hear it over and over, they'll remember and believe it. I'm sure there is an official name for this tactic in psychology? If she's VP, she'll be doing the same thing with McCain's draconian foreign policy. While other countries ask about positions on NATO, she'll be repeating nonpapers on Iraq and Iran. That's about as far as a journalism degree from Univ of Idaho will take her...she can read (I'm from Idaho and I know)...Give her some talking points and she'll wink and smile her way to becoming the world's next American oddity. McCain is a real jackass for choosing her because he knows, if he's elected, he will be the decision-maker while she, the cutie secretary reads it to the world, and when he's dead, he won't have to worry about the state of the world with her at the helm. Talk about short-term vision. The boss-secretary vibe is creepy. Talk about anti-feminism!

R-Liz said...

"Though I would enjoy pinning the cause of global warming on solely the male half of humanity..." --Hilarious. I'll have to remember that one!

Darren and I were flipping back and forth between channels, but most of the time we were watching CNN. On the bottom part of the screen they had a continuous line graph that showed the real-time "positive" and "negative" collective response from two groups of people: Men and Women. Over the course of the debate you saw a that, inevitably whenever Palin spoke, the Men's Line would gradually rise up higher than the Female Line. And the more cutesy, flirtatious, folksy she got, the higher it would go!

I'm pretty sure I know what body part CNN attached their probe to.

JTB said...

R-Liz, you absolutely win hands down for the best line in any comment this blog has ever gotten.

Mark said...

Have you seen the Palin Debate flow chart?

R-Liz said...

Seriously? Then I should like to announce my retirement from blog commenting, effective immediately.

Good night, folks!

JTB said...

the boss-sec'y vibe IS creepy.

Mark, that link is awesome. Everyone, go check it out.

Let's amend the wink count to a provisional three.

And I'd like to note that Joe Biden can do the come-hither eyes, too. Good-looking dude, really...;)

Vasca said...

Take a
Still following your blog ~ gives much insight into what you're about. A mere triviality but if I'm not mistaken, China recently overtook the U.S. and is now the world's #1 polluter...could be mistaken..I often am.
"East Coast over-education and liking pointy-headed elitists" you stated, this post shouldn't be considered a serious commentary on, etc. Nonetheless, I must be classified as a "doofus" more ways than one.

JTB said...

Vasca--I would defer to others on the pollution question, actually; I know China is up there and my factoid might very well be wrong. In any case, I don't think that anyone could make a credible case that the US has led in global efforts to control and reduce pollution.

I'll check out the test--am curious.

The pointy-head elitist talk if me working out some mad about comments on a Sarah Palin facebook group I got an invite to (I knew better than to check it out, but sometimes my impulses are very self-defeating). I really dislike this kind of talk because it hits home so personally, and there's no good way to defuse it. Smart is supposed to be good, but when being smart is somehow viewed as a liability saying "smart is supposed to be good" isn't a real effective defense--just makes you sound more like a pointy-headed elitist, in fact. It's Us v. Them in a very effective and awful way. I don't want to fall into that rhetoric, or let my ire trick me into the characterization of people who disagree as just to clarify, I don't view the world in terms of Smarts v. Stupids...and in any case, you are no "doofus"!

Anonymous said...

They replayed the winks on Real Time with Bill Maher (4). They also referenced this post by Rich Lowry, National Review editor, who after her first wink he "...sat up a little straighter on the couch"


JTB said...

to repeat Ruthie's line: I'm pretty sure I know what body part Lowry's referring to...